A Short History of Dutch Music - Part 1

Time for some culture injections. I think it's a good moment to explain some of the weirdness that is Dutch Music. I'll try to steer clear of the details of the major Dutch successes in Global Rock and Pop History. What? Dutch successes? Yes, there are a few. And anyone who has ever spoken to a Dutchman for over 20 minutes will undoubtedly recognize the following dialogue:

Dutch: "So do you know some Dutch Music?"
Undutch: "Ehm?"
Dutch: "We are very famous for our music!"
Undutch: "Ehm?"
Dutch: "Don’t you know any Dutch music, come on, you have to guess!"
Undutch: "Ehm? Was Elvis Dutch?"
Dutch: "No, come on, one of the most famous songs in the world is Dutch!"
Undutch: "I thought Paul McCartney was from Liverpool?"
Dutch: "The Golden Earring! The Golden Earring! The Golden Earring!"
Undutch: "Ehm?"
Dutch: "Come on! They are famous! You know, 'When the Lady Smiles', 'Twilight Zone'?"
Undutch: "Ehm?"
Dutch: "Tumtumtumtumtadidumdum, tumtumtumtumtadidumdum"
Undutch: "Ehm, I think I’m late for a meeting"
Dutch: "Radar Love?" (and, while air-guitaring:) "Tung Tung Tang…. Tung Tang Tong… Tung Tang Tung Tang Tong… Tung Tang Tonggggggg…"
Undutch: "Ah!" (Clueless)

So never mind the Dutch successes, since it will only trigger a discussion that inevitably ends up with tiring explanations of why '2 Unlimited' and 'The Vengaboys' are really a Belgian way to discredit the Dutch. No, instead, I intend to give you some insight.

Let's start off with the concept of 'Eelrock'. The dutch call this 'Palingrock'. Promising name for a musical genre, isn't it? To explain this genre, unique in the world, I will need to cover a little part of the history of Holland. Just bring up Google Maps for a moment and look at the map of Holland. See that big lake thingy in the middle? That used to be a sea. So surrounding the lake are many villages whose inhabitants all learned the same profession. They were Fishermen! Proud Fishermen, who sailed the seven seas and brought back riches (well, fish really) from far away oceans and exotic places.

And then in 1932 the sea became a lake. Not good for local economy, obviously, and not very good either for most fish, but people from Hyppolytushoef now could visit their family in Bolsward and be back before dinner. Progress.

Most of our proud fishermen were just a tiny bit upset and gathered in their local churches. The priests offered them solace with Sentences like 'Thou shalt reap the benefits of thy glory' and 'Break bread and share the wine'. In the end, each village chose a new occupation. Edam decided that they would collectively make cheese to go with the bread and wine. Monnickendam decided to become a suburb of Amsterdam. And Volendam… well… Volendam decided to become a Haven of Rock And Roll. (Urban legend has it that they misinterpreted the 'Thou shalt reap the benefits of thy glory')

And the fish? Well, some species adapted. The Eel for instance. It decided that the salt in the water had been strongly overrated anyway and that the word fresh in 'fresh water' wasn't in there for nothing. The ex-fishermen of Volendam, now aspiring rock 'n' roll stars, decided that they would catch some eel while waiting for a record deal and sell it to the people who would one day come and visit their town in awe of its artistic merits in the Global History of Rock and Roll.

Thus was born the genre of 'Palingrock'. Within 30 years after reinventing themselves, the people of Volendam had single-handedly reshaped the musical landscape of the world. Well, of Holland. With songs celebrating their past travels at sea with poetic titles as 'One Way Wind' and 'Sailing Home', they conquered the world. Well, Holland. The fame as one of the four towns that make up the well-known Square of Music History (Memphis, Seattle, Liverpool and Volendam) has caused the town to become one of the most visited places in the world. Bus loads of music lovers visit the town during summer, eat a smoked eel that gave the musical genre its name and walk around the town in awe of the musical history that can be deduced from the last names on almost every door: Smit, Veerman, Schilder, Smit, Veerman, Schilder, Smit, Veerman, Schilder, (all not related one to the other, or at least, not directly related…) the list is endless.